You Wish You Were Us

Hey guys…I’m on my way home………..and oh my god I want to be home so bad. I’m in Singapore right now after spending a night rotting here not knowing what to do exactly. Before I left the Phillippines I had to unload all my beer and give them to the airport guys cuz I was over my limit in baggage…sorry dad. And I had to pay $120 just to be able to take the majority of my clothes back home. And then I was using the phone here in Singy when I had to run off to check in and I realized that I had left my REALLY expensive ticket back at the phone booth. I went EVERYWHERE for help and they told me to fill out a Police Report………………………………………………………………………………….um….why??? Then by a stupid, stupid fluke I looked in some random garbage can…I shit you not there was my ticket…some douche bag had thrown it out…probably the cleaning lady I had asked minutes earlier if she had picked anything up next to the phone booths. So here I am using the free interent (the only remotely cool thing about this place right now) and waiting for my flight to take me to Bangkok where I’m sure I’ll have to pay more money for my excess baggage and then fly to Hong Kong where I get to spend another magical evening in the presence of those who are slanty-eyed and english illiterate. Then from Hong Kong I get to ride a magnificent plane ride of 14 hrs to Vancouver. With my luck I’ll probably be sitting next to some tot bastard who is crying cuz his poopy diaper is starting to stink. Then in Vancouver I have to find a way to the Greyhound and endure another 4 hrs before I reach where I want to end up….wow….can somebody please put a limit on all the fun I’m having???

Kay so I’m a bit bitter right now…But I’ll be back in time for ‘buck a beer’ on Wednesday. I’ll have to say it’s been a great experience. I’ll be posting pictures up on the Blog that time forgot. I just can’t wait to be home. I just want a job again and a X-Box. For those of my friends who were cool enough to me to make me remember…it’s cheeaaap present time!!! Life is good hey?

Anyway, pray I don’t commit suicide on the way over…see you in Seattle…

Ray-Ray

Hey youuu guyyyyssss (remember Sloth of “the Goonies”),

Kay so, if the universe had a ghetto…it’d be called the Phillippines. My home country is the projects of the world. But it’s all good. I’ve got food cooked for me whenever I want and extended family that think I’m more famous than Bertuzzi…which is freakin’ bull but hey, who doesn’t like attention right?

I landed down in the great PI on the…(memory check)…um…April something…(memory status: not working). And I’ve been chillin’ here for a bit. It’s been fun. I went to a black sand beach…feel free to not be jealous…cuz it was filthy. And I played V-Ball against a team of Ladyboys…transvestites…gay…fudge-packer’s…they were nice.

Also I went to an updated version of the Kamloops Water Slides, it’s called Splash Island – although…there were no islands there. All the rides, cept…two required you to go down on tubes – oh man…if only you guys were with me blizted out of our trees…I’d say we would have fallen out of the slide. Alright, my Filipino friends are here…probably to take me away to drink Filipino beer in a Filipino bar. I miss Canada. See you in a day or two weeks.

…two weeks later. Okay so maybe I lied. I’ve been partying hard for a little bit now. Antoinette flew in from Singapore on the 29th of April and we took off to Cebu for a little getaway. Stayed on this island where everyone stares, not that it’s any different. I’m sure people are all wary of a white chick running around with an asian - I felt famous…or like a bug in a jar. The beach where we went to wasn’t half as nice as Thailand so we left the beach after a couple of days and went to the jungle. We took a little banana boat down a canal in the middle of the jungle. There were little Tarsiers…the world’s smallest mammal or rodent or some shit – they were small and cute I guess if you like guinea rats. Anyway, we stayed at a place called “Nut’s Huts” and at night were plagued by death sounds of the wild. Huge lizards run rampant and monkey’s can be heard in the distant. Hiked up a mountain – man does smoking help when you do that – and travelled through some caves where thousands of bats shit…I got shit on – I can’t lie about that. Met an American couple – a white guy and a filipino girl (obviously our counterparts) and we all rented a banana boat to paddle upshore to the waterfalls for some not-so-high cliff jumping and some toe cutting as we prevented the girls from drowing cuz the current was strong. Me and Antoinette also saw the Chocolate Hills – beautiful mounds of dirt…that were created when there was an Ocean covering the area…look it up if you’re interested cuz I don’t want to explain. We rode on a bus to get there…but on the top. Yeah dude, I rode on top of the bus for over an hour and a half. And incdently it was Festival Month so they had huuuge banners hanging across the trees and the telephone polls and we had to dodge them or else we’d be decapitated or clothes-lined off the boat…not so mickey…hmmmm…what else? Oh we stayed at a hotel that had Kareoke until 4 am…you guys probably think a guy like me would find that amazing…but trying to sleep with Filipino’s singing not so asian songs like Simple Plan’s “Perfect”…makes you want to die.

Anyway, done a lot of shopping, met a lot of relatives, apparently I have a God-daughter…I have to give her money now every 26th of April and on Christmas…poo…and I’ve been drinking and just doing…things…normal things I guess. I’ll be here till thursday then I go back to Thailand for a little bit and then I have to be home by at least June for registration of school. Sooo, miss me a little longer if you remember who I am. I’ve forgotten tons of names and people - blame the booze…so many guys do it.

Forgive my rushed Blog, I don’t even care anymore but I’ll do it just to be cool.

Greetings,

Hello my fiends. I am back in Bangkok. After staying a month on a small island called Koh Phi Phi where I had the best time of my trip. I can’t even begin to explain what that place was like, and furthermore I can’t really describe how I feel right now. From the lonely walkways of a paradise island where you knew you made a different to the indigenous people that lived there, where you knew everyone walking by you and met someone new every day who would become a friend, the quiet nights, the peace…and now I’m back in the gulag. The city of dirt, grime, noise, pollution and no peace. While looking back, Jesse pointed out that I had spent half of my trip so far on that Island…he’s right…I had. I don’t regret a single thing about it. I met great friends…great people and a great girl. And this is where everthing begins to make sense. Antoinette was from Austria and while I could go off on all the good things, I think I’ll leave that to myself. I was still there for 2 weeks before the girl came alone, she was just an added bonus. Living where natural history has taken place…tragically…is a great experience and knowing that my small contribution made the most minute of differences is a feeling that everyone should be able to relate with. I wish I had boughten a real journal to record thoughts and feelings. It’s easier writing more openly knowing that ALL my friends have access to reading it. Anyway, I’m going to crash….round 2 in a day.

Round 2

So I’m in Bangkok for the Water Festival…the Sam Kon or some stupid shit. Thailand New Year. EVERYONE carries a water gat…or some sort of water soaking device and you get everyone wet. It doesn’t matter who. So I’m soaked in an air conditioned internet cafe…dreading to go outside for food cuz someone will roast me with water. Crazy Thai’s…but I’ll tell you this, it’s so damn fun. Being lazy, see you on day 3

Day 3

Okay…did I say it was fun? I’m on day 3 and it’s fucking irritating. The water gun fights were cool….but….today they busted out this powder that’s mixed with water…and they smear it on…..everything…everywhere…the cops here had white shit smeared on their uniforms and on their faces. It’s getting so annoying that I’m physically abusing Thai people when they come near me. I’ve met up with tons of people from Koh Phi Phi and it’s been nice to just chill out for a bit. We’re a bunch of parasites…we just destroy. Bastards.

I don’t have any cool stories yet….I’m….I’m Thai-ed out. I want to go home. Ooooh, I got a tattoo…of a thai potatoe on my underarm…kay no. I’ll show y’all when I see you. It’s a bamboo tattoo – stellar Evil Ted.

Phi Phi was wicked though. They had volleyball tournaments every week. Our team…lost like everytime but I realized that I’ve got some mega-vert. Representing the Canadian Way. Chalk one up for the asian. Oh and some woman came up to me in a restaurant and asked me if I had found her purse……………………..she thought I was Thai…………………………………………..I hate white people.

So I’m in dirty, rotting, piece of crap, stinky, over-populated, I want to commit suicide bangkok. I leave Thailand tomorrow to go the Phillippines and see family. I’m saying goodbye to B again. Whom I will not reveal his wild antics going on back on Phi Phi – his mom reads this sometimes. But I miss you guys tons. Not enough to come home yet but enough to always tell you guys that I miss you. I’m sure you can take some time out of your everyday boring routine’s of waking up at a certain time to get ready for school, work, community service, urine tests and Lamars Classes and leave a comment of love for me. I haven’t been sending out much info that the Blog is still in the making but it is. It’s going. And for that we should all praise the God of Ray.

HAHAHAHA,

Waitasec…my freakin’ birthday!!! I spent my 23rd on Phi Phi and I got shattered. I was coconut bowling and I’d like to think of myself as a prime bowler…one who gives the pins a run for their money…..man…..am I wrong. I bowled my first and my ONLY coconut right into the tesiticle area of the man running the bowling….MWAHAHHAA……from now on…he’ll be known as he-who-should-not-have children cuz I massacred his sack. No really…like…..they probably went up into his body and stayed there for life. And then I drank buckets (which I talk so fondly of in previous blogs) and got carried home but……people that I don’t even want to talk about. And that’s how Ray spent his 23rd birthday in Thailand on a small island called Koh Phi Phi.

Feel free to be jealous and send in your comments of how good-looking you think I am. I bet all the chicks want to do me back home…………………………………….disco….

love Ray-Ray

….hey guys…

Um….so…you’re probably looking for me…and if you’re not then….you’re gay…all of you. I’ve been busy. Wow…and how. Um…where can I start…ahh yes. After the piece of anal raping computer trash screwed up on me.

So the Full Mooner…a night of magical moments…choas….stupidity…and lady-boys chasing Jesse up rocks. Nothing makes you feel more alive…and more gay. That night our posse…the English: Lisa, Sophie and Toby, the Swedes: Josephine and Kristopher, the American: Justin and………the Canadian idiots: Me, Jesse, Chris, Kailyn, Dilbert (Jim), and…some other people hahaha…oh yeah and Mel was somewhere and so was Hailey. Anyway, short story even shorter we got really, really hammered…Kailyn went crazy, Jesse got manhandled, Chris made out with two different chicks and thought they were the same…and I ran into girl trouble. Talk about magic. The Full Moon Party was just a over-crowded excuse to get raped. They sold masks there….rapist-I’m-taking-your-virginity masks….not so cool. I’m sure in the end everyone had fun. And I know that the sea was just…..wow…………so much pee…..so much guys. And then what the hottest thing was, was in the morning…people were swimming in it. That’s right ladies and gents. No one should swim in urine…..EVER…..ever. At about 3:00 am I lost everyone and I wandered the beach by myself. Some guy passed out and his pulse stopped and I went to fetch the Beach Police. I told him what happened and he decided he’d finish his coffee before saving the life of an ODing beach bum. So it’s not the saaafest place to do drugs. I didn’t have any. High five for me…but I drank…..guess….just guess….bucket’s of crazy. Anyway, that was full moon. More happened…but I don’t really remember…it was like….three weeks ago…wow…you guys must think I’m dead……and I am…..on the inside….but…….I’m not……okay.

So just travelled around a bit. Go off the deathly island of Ko Phang Nang with intentions of going home. I went to Ko Sumai for a bit with the English girls and with Jesse because it was on the way home. And then…I bid adeiu to Jesse who was off to Malaysia. That was kind of hard. Yeah I got over it and found new, better-looking friends…but really. I loved travelling with that douche bag. Jesse…if you’re reading this, you were awesome. And the bum sex was great too. Really it was.

So…….anyway…………….back to Ko Sumai. Said goodbye to my love……I mean Jesse and then that day said goodbye to the girls, which was also hard. Lisa and Sophie were also the dope bomb. If you guys read this, thanks for the boat ride. Spider man is coming and I knocked over a small Buddish temple.

And….again….moving on. I got on a bus from Suri Thanni to Bangkok which took 13 hours. What the coolest part was, was sitting next to a really fat smelly German, who was drunk for some reason and had broughten two big beers on the bus itself, plus he farted and he had no concept of what we normal people call: human boundaries. I didn’t like it. So I moved when two people got off the bus, God bless their tiny asian hearts. And wow…that side of the bus was leaking…and even better was that it was raining for the first time I’ve seen since being in Bangkok…soooo let’s break this down…..fat man……farting……not cool…….raining…..wet underwear equals no sleep….for Ray….the asian.

Moving on, after getting back to Bangkok I met up with Kailyn and we went on a stupid shopping spree. This girl……can spend. Oh my dear lord somebody arrest her. Yeah, Kailyn pretty much funded the captial of Thailand for the last three days. Which was cool cuz I got a lot of bus rides, taxi fares and food for free…not to mention most of my accomodation was paid for because Kailyn is rich….and I wasn’t which is why I was going home. While in Bangkok I met…..the Mormon. His name is Cal and I’ve been with him since we met 6 days ago. From the first night we had a blast with Kailyn and what-not. He was on his way to Ko Phi Phi to volunteer because that’s where the Tsunami hit. And I was thinking it was a good idea. So during a random bowling game I told the world that if I got this strike….I was going to Ko Phi Phi….even though I was out of money….I was going to Ko Phi Phi. So I bowled and I’d like to think of myself as hotsauce when it comes to bowling but this was the first bowl ever. It was headed straight for the far right side and that’s exactly where it went…but I swear on my life the pins on the right bounced OVER to the other side and knocked the pins on the left over…no lie….God spoke and said go to Ko Phi Phi…and that was it. I said goodbye to Kailyn and Bangkok and took off with Mormon but not before getting hammered and hitting my bare hand on a ceiling fan because I leaped from one bed to another and some bastard thai cock monkey decided it would be fun to put wheels on the bottom of the beds….so I hate that Thai person and I went with Mormon BACK to Suri Thanni…the same bus ride Fat German was on only going back…wow……shotgun dying. So I was on a 14 hr bus ride to the docks…I split up with Moron to do my border run and it was 5 hous to Hat Yai and then 4 and a half hours to Malaysia than another 4 hours back to Hat Yai and then 4 hours to Krabi……………………………………………………………………………………………..oh my dear God go to hell Thailand.

Oh yeah, that reminds me…I said goodbye to Chris and the Swedes and Kristopher….the swedish dude with the girlfriend grabbed my friggin’ package full moon night. So Jesse wasn’t the only one getting male on male love…just thought I’d throw that in because I’m crazy like that. But Kris is the shitbomb and I wish him good luck both in life and in his relationship with Josephine. Good luck SWEDES!!!

Kay back to me and Mormo. We call him Mormo me and Chris who I met in Krabi by random filthy chance. Now there are things in life that shouldn’t ever happen. Hurricanes….epidemics in nursery’s…global genocide and seeing Chris’s mom naked……but karma did not one bit decide that me…Mormo…and Chris Spiker should meet up…..

I have never felt more stupider or done more stupider things in the span of my life since I was…..19……..than I have since I’ve met up with these three. We just left our bungalow from Ton Sai today…and we left it in shambles. Thai people want us dead. We are felons in three Asian states….and we met three very, very bi-curious Swedes two days ago…yeah…..yeah I know….wow….wow….

So we’ve been in Ton Sai…it’s apparently supposed to have one of the top 10 beaches in the world……it doesn’t…..they lie. But then again it was hit by the tsunami so maybe that’s why it doesn’t look so hot anymore. This place is rock climber’s paradise. From all over buff girls who could break my poor asian fram and toned europeans come to this place to test some of the best cliffs in the world – which is true. As for us??? We drank buckets. Mormo doesn’t drink so he has Mormon mixer’s…which is a cocktail of redbull and other strange liver killing liquids. I’m telling you though…this Mormon…….is like….the Mormon that never was…..he……he’s a sinner for sure….um…a lot of crazy shit happened on this side of Thailand…stuff that I’m just going to leave out…because….no one needs to know it really.

So here I am. Today….I’ve gotten 2 hours of sleep and I’ve been bantering on about sweet nothings for over an hour. The longest delay in blog history, done by this guy. I was actually on my way home and then…I decided to stay. I feel I still have some things I need to fulfill. I’m heading to volunteer and I think I’m going to find what I’m looking for. I want to wish a happy Birthday to Leah-tard the women who secretly loves me, Kristin my punk rock princess, my boy JJ, Swedy ball-toucher Stoffer, Cory my other nigga in white….and to myself..the coolest freakin’ asian this side of the east coast…and to all the other gnarly Pisces fish folk who I left out. So I miss you guys, so much. I’m almost done here but not yet. One more stop I think…one more adventure and then I come home….I think….I’m broken…and my soul is bruised right now from too much drinking and not enough sleep.

There is no rest for the wicked……..and the Duum….which means stupid in Sweden…..which is me. I am very……..very Duum.

Cunnula,

Ray-Ray

p.s.

Cunnula means “fuck” in Sweden….enjoy that one.

…I wrote a big entry for the last three nights…piece of dirty rotten cocksucking rat fuck bastard dirty wad faced whore hound of a computer fucked up and erased the whole thing…so no more right now…cept the pessimistic, glass half empty log…..plus I just saw the guy who ripped me off with my scooter…and I’m thinking about how to kill him.

love Ray

…kay…so I haven’t been dead……..I’ve been….HOLY SHIT I’ve been pissed outta my coconaut tree for the last like 5 days. I gotta sum this up quick cuz this internet is about to cost me like 8 dollars…

So we touch down to Ko Phan Nan which was wicked by the way. And we’ve been here drinking this…….this…………….thing of PURE EVIL called Sam Sung. KAY this work of evil goes like this:

1 sand bucket, 1 Mickey of local Whiskey which is illegal in Canada because it contains over 20 adphemines, a bottle of Thai Redbull - and everyone knows what we use redbull for…and a can of coke……………………did you read that?

It’s freakin’ nonsense is what it is. So night one of buckets we met up with Mel and these english girls and I think I’ve already said some of this haven’t I…..yes…..I already have spoken of buckets…..see what happens when you drink sam sung???

Sam Sung wrecked my life…

Kay so I’m in a cafe right now typing my face off. This place is so expensive you have to donate extra organs….in the state I’m in my kydney’s and liver’s are probably as useful as a bum hole on an elbow………….how did that one make you feel??? I can’t even go off about the madness that’s been happening. Me and Jesse got drunk one night and Jesse was RAVE dancing…I know….B….Jesse Bianco…from Boston Pizza….in Kamloops was Raving with me. He was all up in that techno grill man, I’m telling you. Then we dared each other to talk to girls…that was a little childish but seemed fun when you’re drunk. After stealing a sign, vomitting behind a jeep and escaping bantering dogs we went to sleep for like…..4 hrs till Jesse woke up and had ADD on me and somehow the bed got soaked, we had to take off the sheets, we ended up hoodies, I was sleeping on my clothes on the bed and Jesse was on the wooden from that the matress rests on and people walked in and thought we were crack victims….life is wicked.

Then the next night we met up with Kailyn and Chris and some Swedes…from Sweden obviously and got battered again. More buckets, again on the beach…still fun but this time Kailyn and Josephine (swede) got some sick ass roofie put in their drink I think cuz they were both just stupid. No, not like…Ray stupid like…..I walk into walls with my eyes open kind of stupid. Anyway, that night zooin and so I spent the next day in a hammock and watched a Shark tale that night.

Oh did I mention about the Plethora of hot women here…………….and naked women? So many breasts…so few hands……………God is Punishing me.

Anyway, I still have to do last night but I’m lazy and I gotta meet up with Mel. I really have to say this now….while you guys are studying for tests, going to work, living mellow lives and catching the O.C., I’m sitting in paradise eating pinapples and watching girls expose themselves willingly while I blatently stare at them like I’m parapalegic.

Cheers,

Ray-Ray

Right on…here I am again. Still on the beach but at a new island called Ko Phan Nan where in 6 Days we will party on the beach with some 10, 000 traveller’s…maybe even more. We arrived three days ago with a couple of guys we met at Ko Sumai. Justin from the States has got dreaded hair and is a redneck/hippie/activist. He’s on a $22,000 grant (US) to do a 6 page report on the trading currencies of the world…….what the hell is that all about. Toby is from England and he’s got a better guitar than me, which means he has to die. Like a horrible, horrible death. So it’s them plus me and B and Jenelle and Ang and then I met up with Mel down here who was travelling with two girls from Wales and a girl from England…..and Ed from London is coming to visit and I just saw Kailyn and Chris from Kelowna and Jimbo is meeting us in a couple of days…..so it’s like…Team Canada, Team England over here and it’s official….like I kid you not I have an english accent…..it won’t go away unless I overarticulate. It’s rather quite silly to be honest…an asian from Canada with an English Accent.

The night before last we went to the beach and found Mel and friends and for 160 baht (which is like…$4.50 Canadian) you get a sand bucket…and it’s filled with a mickey of run, a bottle of redbull and topped up with coke….it took me three of those before I was on the beach releasing my daily eatings. That was random. That was very fun, we stayed up till the wee hours of the morning and then last night went to Hat Yeuon, which is just like 10 min from where we are staying to see the girls’ huts and I’m jealous. They’re place is so much better than ours. It’s like a community on the movie the Beach. I went into the bathroom and there was a huuuuge boulder that it was built on. EXCELLENT. That night we went to this club wayy wayy wayy out in the middle of the jungle where they sell “special shakes” and have techno music all night long. We were quite content with our bucket’s of Red Bull but that place was a gong show. Some huge muscle man who had no shirt on with a big tattoo on his chest was wearing pink fairy wings and his dyed long blond hair was enwrapped in a girly head band and he was going around offering this communal jug of natural herbal tea….quite random….than the thai man Won who kept trying to molest the girls we came with until Jesse pretended he was gay and sat on Won’s lap to make him leave…Won has not been seen since……..Toby got lost in the woods and spent his night talking to rocks and Justin spent his night attempting to borrow water from people because he couldn’t get his own bottle. Then the trekk back at 4 am where Lisa (English girl from Wales) had sprained her leg the night before and so we had to climb trecherous rock faces and wander through chicken farms before we found the path. I knocked over these stone monuments in the middle of the beach and I’m sure….I’m going to die for that. Then we spent the day sitting on this gorgeous beach with no sleep under our belts and I played one on one with B….I had to quit cuz there’s a blister bigger than a twoonie that developed on my foot…the score sits at 6 to 10 for me…I need one more basket to manage Jesse….Anyway, tonight just gonna chill with Kailyn and then tomorrow we’re renting sea doos and I think we’re gonna find ourselves a hut on that new beach we found…………till then….

I miss you guys, love you lots…wanna party till the sun comes up and the moon goes down but I miss you guys tons and I got into UBC Okanagan so I think I’m coming home early……

Don’t act like you’re not impressed…

Ray

Hi…what’s up guys? I’m excellent. The beach is the best place EVER. So I woke up at 6 am cuz I couldn’t sleep and I caught a sunrise. Some random english bloke popped over for a converstion and we sparked a mellow doobie, which was nice cuz I’ve never been high on a beach in thailand. Then the day progressed into swimming in the water all day and getting a shoulder burn. Ouch…Asians do burn no matter what ANYBODY tells you. The myths are wrong. Then we walked through the water up the beach where me and Jesse decided to have a Kelp war and then we swam out to the coral reefs…I was afraid of getting eaten by sharks…….I hate sharks. After shark baiting we swam back to find gross old women with their boobs hanging out. This is not the vision of paradise that floats through my head….it’s….actually a glimpse of hell that haunts my nightmares. After saggy boobs I crashed for about half an hour and then it started to pour….huge drops of rain and the waves were ginormous. So the naturally stupid thing I decided to do…..was go for a swim. And swim I did and it was gorgous…the waves were huge and they carried me to a better place…..sea salt in my nose town…population…me.

After the rain we scurried back to our bungalow…..on the beach….in thailand…and strolled through the market….and there are an abundance of hooker’s that would put victoria street to shame….no no…make that seymour street. Ignoring the hooker’s me and Angela split up with everyone else to use the internet than while walking on the beach we encountered waves that were getting up to 6 or 7 feet….so me….being a dumbass….decided to go try to body surf….I almost drown and Ang almost lost her top….so it was a win/lose situation. The night was mellow and we decided to call in an early one.

Today we rented scooter’s and I don’t know how to drive so I was chauffered by Jennell, who equally doesn’t know how to drive. We went to a couple of water falls and hiked soo much that my feet blister. The first hike was okay, the only concern was the screeching sounds of the local beetles that I didn’t get to see. The next hike was death in the making. At the beginning of the trail was baby olyphants who ate banana’s directly from your hand…aww how sweet…jesse met a monkey and named him bobo…….fucking queer. Then the trekk started….about half way up we met a guide who decided to follow us for a tip…but he was the dope bomb. The elevation was at….let’s say a….kay I can’t even describe it. Steep slopes with slippery rocks and vines to climb so you can make the top. Took us about half an hour to hike…and about 15 to hike down but there was swimming at the very top so it was worth it.

So my day was fun filled and adventurous. From almost getting smoked by opening doors of random cars on a scooter, to hiking up trecherous mountains, slippery rock jumping or getting my laundry, I’m having the time of my life down here but I will never forget you guys. I miss you tons…make sure you buy me stuff when I get back home…

Ray

Kay, like I said before….Blogs are gay. I’m a couple of days behind….so I’ll just fill you in to where we are. We took a gay ass bus ride again to Bangkok but got a nice little place there for the night to get ready to go to Southern Thailand. An Island called Ko Sumai…and yes, the southern part is where the tsunami hit…and yes I’m okay with that. Anyway, so me and B and Brett and Angela and Jennell are rocking it out hard in Ko Sumai now. After an all night train ride….where I had the top bunk and some ferry ride that gave B heat stroke and me a killer farmer’s tan….we made it to Ko Sumai and we’re staying at the New Hut in right on the beach. Which I may add is a little grubby…..it’s not dirty…..but it’s not paradise. I’m out for paradise right now. So we’re rotting here and I love it. First day….and I did…..absolutey jack all. But I thought about my friends in Kamloops and I must give out mad props to you guys. Cory our Thrusday nights will never be the same. And to everyone else in both Kammy and Kelowna…JJ I’ll be back soon and I won’t die.

Anyway, so tomorrow I plan to lie no the beach….and then maybe eat some food. I’ll let you guys know how everything went. We’re just gonna snuggle up here till the 23 and then hit up our first Full Moon Party on Ko Phan Nan…..

The wit has been replaced with haste to get this retarded blog over with…..I can’t believe it’s only day 11……I want Dorito’s….and Lindsay….I want a hug………Jesse hits me………and throws peanuts at my face when I’m sleeping……I don’t like it…….I’m going to stab him in the eye…………………………………..with my penis….

So, yesterday….after dirty, dirty dirty floating villages and movie night on HBO that was fun-filled by throwing life savers at both Jesse and the wall, we got ourselves revved up to hit the Buddhist Ruins of Angkor Wat. The scooter ride was long and blah. But when we got there…huge ruins from ages ago that I have no idea why there were there cuz I refused to buy a information book from the little kids. The heat killed me and I swear I lost weight which is good cuz I have plenty to spare right? no….So we saw the ruins and trekked around. I can’t really exlain it, only show pictures. And since my camera has no batteries than you guys are SOL too. Let’s just try to draw a picture together shall we? Big temples….that are made of stone….with Monks walking around… How’s that? Oh yeah, in the temples are stone statues for buddah and you have to light an insence and pray that you won’t fall off the fucking huge stairways that lead to the top of some of these places. Around 1:00 we had lunch and we bombarded by kids who’d put Western Car Salesmen to shame. These kids were born to beg and sell and try to make as much money for the family as possible. But they were cute and we started playing with them and they never sold us anything after cuz we distracted them. Pretty sly huh? That’s what we people are….sly….Kay so there were more temples they were gorgeous. blah blah blah. Jesse stood on the very edge of this temple one some random stone and it musta been like 200 metres from the ground….I had hopes he’d fall but then who’d I travel with? I figure I’d get closer to the other travellers we were with before I let B die. Anyway, temples were key and classy and after that we did nothing but sleep.

The next day we hit up the pool at some 4 star hotel where the old men were flocking like geese. We saw Quasi Modo’s cousin too, it was really sad. Anyway, we got drunk that night and made plans to go to Ko Sumai. Gorgeous beach apparently. We said our goodbyes to Edward our English friend who was going after English tail…two of them…and set sail for bangkok…

I hate this blog…